Dear George W. Bush,

Thanks for banning lighters from being taken onto an airline. Your post-9/11 agenda has just taken a turn for the unexpected. Not only can you get any information you want from us without going through a real court, you have now prevented travelers from firing up a doobie on the plane (or burning a stewardess with the incredible 2 inch flame). As a concerned citizen, I must congratulate you in your efforts to make even the simplest liberties very hard to do.

Sincerely,

Idiotic America

Florida has Done it Again!

According to the Associated Press and as reported on the hard hitting, thought provoking Florida Journalism service, The Herald Tribune, "Police: Okeechobee mom sells daughters for car, prostitution."

OKEECHOBEE, Fla. -- A mother is under arrest, accused of selling a 12-year-old daughter into prostitution and trading a 14-year-old daughter for a car.

The 39-year-old woman, whose name is not being released to protect the girls' identity, is charged with two counts of aggravated child abuse and two counts of sexual performance by a child. She was being held Tuesday in the Okeechobee County Jail on $400,000 bond.

Both girls have been turned over to the Department of Children & Families, the Okeechobee News reported for Wednesday editions.

The youngest girl and her mother were living out of their car and the prostituting was for food and an occasional shower at the men's homes, according to a report by Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office Detective K.J. Ammons

The youngest daughter is currently three months pregnant, the report said, and the girl was 11 when her mother first forced her to have sex with a man. She charged $20 for the sex.

The older daughter refused to be used as a prostitute and was allegedly sold for car.

"She was sold to a man for a Mercury Cougar," Ammons said. "But, he never gave the mother the vehicle."

Ammons said the car has an estimated value of $500-to-$1,000. That 23-year-old man has since been arrested. He was charged with sexual performance by a child and was booked into the county jail and is held on $100,000 bond.

The youngest girl told detectives that her mother pulled both girls out of school for fear they would tell someone.

"She said she was a good student and made A's and B's, and all she wants to do is go back to school," Ammons said.

Ammons said DCF will get the girls into a new school.

As thought provoking and hard hitting as this story may seem, it only furthers my agenda to have the already Idiotic American population see that a member of their states is one of the biggest reasons behind my way of thinking. Not only can Florida not vote, now they can't even have kids. Why hasn't someone put a castration clinic as a ride at Disney World yet?

Let's take a closer look at this gem of a quote:

"She was sold to a man for a Mercury Cougar," Ammons said. "But, he never gave the mother the vehicle."

Obviously, the woman was upset with not receiving her Mercury Cougar and thus turned him in. That showed HIM!

Seriously, a Cougar? I would think a child would be worth, what, at least a Jag. Jesus, this economy is really going down the crapper.

Another great one:

The youngest daughter is currently three months pregnant, the report said, and the girl was 11 when her mother first forced her to have sex with a man. She charged $20 for the sex.

Not only was she traumatized by her loving mother, she is now preggers. The article does not say whether she will keep it or not but guessing from the Florida code of shoot first and shoot later, she will keep it. Gotta love mixed morals... You have bleeding heart Republicans saying ABORTION IS WRONG OMG SHE HAD IT COMING SHE HAS TO HAVE THE KID!!!

Bush is still indebted to Florida for handing him the victory oh, 4 years ago now? No wonder they can get away with things like this without worrying about being nuked from orbit (and to think I was going to live there for 2 years while I went to school at Full Sail).

In conclusion, please vote to turn Florida into a prison state. At first, I thought Wyoming would be a good bet, but hell, all this publicity for Florida has just changed my mind.

Dear America,

It has come to my attention that you are full of idiots. Please try to stop people who try to pull a Romeo and Juliet fued, would ya?

According to the pro's over at CNN.com, "Family feud erupts after teens date; 6 wounded"

RESCENT CITY, Florida (AP) -- Members of neighboring families shot at each other, wounding six people, as part of a long-running feud that victims said peaked when a girl from one family began dating a boy from the other one.

Six people ages 14 to 22 were taken to hospitals Sunday for treatment of gunshot wounds. Two remained hospitalized Monday, one in serious condition.

Baldemar Riojas, 46, was charged with six counts of aggravated battery with a firearm. He was freed on $15,000 bail.

Members of the Soliz and Ortiz families say their feud with the neighboring Riojas family has simmered for more than a year and became more heated when Riojas' teenage daughter started dating Miguel Soliz, 15, who was among the wounded.

"All this started because they were dating," said Melva Ortiz, Miguel's mother. "I tried to tell him to leave the girl, but you know how kids are."

Maj. Rick Ryan of the Putnam County sheriff's office said members of both families had guns and fired across a street at each other.

However, he said investigators had been stymied by the families' reluctance to talk to authorities. "We get out there and nobody knows anything," Ryan said.

Angelica Soliz, a cousin of the victims, said she hid under a bed during the gunfire early Sunday.

"We just threw ourselves to the floor, and the people who got shot, they didn't have a chance," said another family member, Maria Ortiz, 22.

The violence had been building for hours. A fight broke out Saturday night among dozens of opposing family members, but the sheriff's office said there was not enough information for an arrest.

Riojas' 20-year-old son, Baldomero Riojas, was questioned and released, but Putnam County sheriff's deputies plan to pursue a charge of reckless display of a firearm against him for allegedly firing into the air. A third man was being sought.

Riojas' wife said her husband was not responsible.

"My husband's not a violent person. He's been in the United States for 24 years and he's never been in trouble," Lisa Riojas told WJXT-TV of Jacksonville.

Ana Diaz, 14, who was wounded in the back, was in serious but stable condition Monday at Hallifax Medical Center in Daytona Beach. The only other person hospitalized, Miguel Ortiz, 22, was in good condition at Shands Hospital in Gainesville.

Let's take one sentence into perspective here:

"All this started because they were dating... I tried to tell him to leave the girl, but you know how kids are."

Kids are? KIDS ARE?!?!?! Lady, a gun fight broke out over some kids dating and you are blaming them? What the hell is wrong with you? I guess all those years dating your cousins really paid off eh?

The outcome of this was two-fold. Not only did it settle absolutely nothing except to show the rest of this God Forsaken country exactly how to behave, it put the girl in the hospital! CONGRATS MRS. ORTIZ, YOUR CHILD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS NOW IN THE HOSPITAL!

God I hate stupid people. Didn't they stop doing fueds like this back in the 1800's? I can't even begin to imagine what started this little skuffle. Maybe an Ortiz took some E and hit on the grandma or something.

While looking for an image that correctly demonstrated this situation, I cam across this gem:

Yup, that pretty much sums in up! Thanks to the families who generously contributed to this story by being complete idiots and demonstrating the point of this blog in the most perfect manner available.

Sincerely,

Idiotic America

According to this report on CNN.com, "Controversial cardinal leads Mass amid protest."

VATICAN CITY (CNN) -- Cardinal Bernard Law helped lead a mourning Mass for Pope John Paul II on Monday, amid protests about his time as archbishop of Boston, Massachusetts, during a sexual abuse scandal.

Court documents showed that Law knowingly moved priests accused of sexually abusing young people from parish to parish without disclosing allegations against them.

Law acknowledged that he had failed to discipline priests accused of abusing hundreds of young people in the Boston area.

Court documents showed that Law knowingly moved priests accused of sexually abusing young people from parish to parish without disclosing allegations against them.

Law acknowledged that he had failed to discipline priests accused of abusing hundreds of young people in the Boston area.

Well that's just dandy! The funeral for Mr. Papal himself is led by someone who admitted from his own mouth that he indeed protected fellow child-feelers from prosecution. I bet the Pope would be loving this!

So, I ask the Catholic church... Is this what your religion has come to? Allowing the filth of your hypocritical leaders to publicly show that it is indeed ok to diddle little alter boys? I do believe that your religion brings a bad name to God.

Don't believe me? Think I am being blasphemous in the name of your O holy priests?

Let's turn our attention on what the Boston Globe has to say about this:

When the Rev. James Porter abuse cases became public in the early 1990s, and again in January 2002 when the Globe revealed the extent of Rev. John Geoghan's abusive behavior, Cardinal Bernard F. Law characterized these as isolated incidents. But as documents started flowing from the church in 2002 and more alleged victims came forward, it soon became clear that clergy abuse was, in fact, a systemic problem in the Boston Archdiocese, involving scores of priests and hundreds of victims across the metropolitan area.

For decades church leaders kept horrific tales of abuse out of the public eye through an elaborate culture of secrecy, deception, and intimidation. Victims who came forward with abuse claims were ignored or paid off, while accused priests were quietly transferred from parish to parish or sent for brief periods of psychological counseling.

Far from being unaware of abusive behavior, Cardinal Law and his deputies had detailed information on many of the archdiocese's most serious molesters. Yet it was not until decades of allegations had accumulated against them that many abusive clergymen were removed from parish ministry. Despite reports of child rape and other criminal behavior by clergymen, church leaders made no apparent effort to inform law enforcement authorities.

The scandal began brewing in Boston, but it was not isolated here. As public furor grew, other dioceses began confronting abusive clergy in their ranks. By the end of 2002, some 1,200 priests had been accused of abuse nationwide, according to a study by The New York Times. Over the course of the year, five US prelates resigned in connection with sex scandals, including Boston's Cardinal Law -- joining four others who had resigned in previous years. The crisis was also felt worldwide, with accusations of abuse or the mishandling of scandals forcing the resignation of bishops in Argentina, Germany, Ireland, Poland, Wales, Scotland, Canada, Switzerland, and Austria.

Oh glory, glory to the Church of Child Lovers!

This whole thing makes me sick. God is not to be used as a reason to rape kids! I only hope that God sees these phonies and let's them get pineapples shoved up their asses in hell right next to Hitler.